Valhalla
by XspriteyX
Summary: There were no 'evil' freelancers playing shoot the simulation soldiers and as much as they tried his patience sometimes Wash always 'missed' in their battles as he felt he owed them enough for saving his life that he didn't need to hurt them in own of their 'battles'. This is a slightly AU (just a bit) fic of Wash adjusting to being part of the BG crew with some surprises ahead
1. Chapter 1

**Yeah this is a sort of AU one-shot that took on a life of it's own, it's mostly from Wash's aspect of fitting in with the Blood Gulch crew and getting used to their way of doing things and a guest that comes to pay a visit towards the end ;) Sorry if Wash seems a bit OOC… Anyway hope you enjoy this :D **

**Oh and when Wash thinks Epsilon it's Church OK? **

All things considered life was peaceful which meant no more UNSC soldiers, which actually hadn't bothered the residents of Valhalla for months, as the last soldier they spoke to had said "Why the hell should we waste our time in a canyon in the middle of nowhere?"

There were no 'evil' freelancers playing shoot the simulation soldiers and as much as they tried his patience sometimes Wash always 'missed' in their battles as he felt he owed them enough for saving his life that he didn't need to hurt them in own of their 'battles'.

Luckily when they returned to Valhalla they discovered not only was Donut alive, and wasn't that a relief for Washington's conscience, he was with Doc who was also fine.

Also the Blues were a lot happier since they had retrieved Epsilon and got him a new robot body that Sarge had provided.

The reason being "Well how in the Sam hell are we supposed ta kill a blue with no body to kill him in dirtbag?"

Unfortunately for Grif this body also had the bonus feature put in that whenever someone said dirtbag Epsilon couldn't help but hit the gold soldier in the face, Washington was sure Sarge did that on purpose but the red leader remained innocent stating "How am I supposed to fix a glitch I can't find?"

Washington had pointed out "You could ask Lopez to do it."

Sarge snorted "He wouldn't know what to look for, right Lopez?"

_"Yes it would be easy to remove that feature."_

"See? Ya can't expect to him to waste time on something unimportant when he could be helping me improve the warthog!"

_"Why bother? It'll get ruined anyway."_

Of course Grif had to say "Puma."

Sarge cocked his shotgun at him "Quiet dirtbag."

Washington found it a slightly bizarre thing to watch Epsilon turn away from explaining something to Caboose on the other side of the canyon to run over and smack Grif in the face "OW!"

Epsilon said "Damn it! Would you guys quit saying that? At first it was funny but now it's getting annoying having to smack Grif in the face whenever you guys say that word whenever I'm in hearing range!"

With the combined efforts of Caboose and Lopez, and what an unlikely duo that was, they had retrieved the program F.I.L.S.S.

That oddly enough didn't acknowledge to that name and instead responded to Sheila, and had put her in a tank that had actually been on the Reds side, Washington had watched in minor disbelief as the Reds let them put the program in the tank and let Caboose take it back to Blue base. Unable to help himself he said "Why would you guys let the Blues have a tank!? You would have had so much more firepower with it."

The Reds all looked at him like he was mad, Donut said brightly "We have the Warthog they have Sheila, that's just how it's always been."

He was more surprised with how much time Caboose spent with the tank when he asked him about it he said "I haven't talked to Sheila in a really really long time so I thought it would be nice to tell her about the aliens, and how they worshipped Church when he was a floating shiny ball, and how they tried to be his best friend but it didn't work because I'm his best friend and of course all about you agent Washingtub."

Apparently that was that, until not long after when Caboose also found and retrieved a bomb that he talked to.

Talking to a conscious tank that could talk back he could handle, but talking to a bomb?

Worse still was that everyone seemed to talk to the bomb, cursing at it mostly, but they still interacted with the thing.

Washington looked at the bomb himself and not seeing anything special said "Why on Earth do they all talk to this stupid thing?"

Only to have "Well the only stupid thing I see here is you, you great big Shisno!" thrown back at him.

That was when he discovered that the bomb or Andy was also 'living' and he was really going to have to invest in migraine medication at this rate. So for a while Wash slowly got used to treating the tank-Sheila and bomb-Andy as a sentient members of Blue team.

Yet just as he was getting used to the change there were two more arrivals in Valhalla, the yellow one saw him and yelled "Dex get a lawyer and don't say anything that could be used against you!"

Grif sounded triumphant and exasperated when he said to the Reds "I told you she was fine and she doesn't look pregnant…for once." Then he turned to her "What are you talking about?!"

She pointed at Washington "He's an undercover cop! But he can't fool me I'd know that buff bod anywhere!"

Grif turned to Washington fury evident in his arm movements "What the hell where you doing near my sister!"

Washington looked at her "I'm not a cop!"

Before Grif's words registered "Wait. Sister? She's your sister!?"

Simmons added none too helpfully "She's hot too." He muttered "Lucky bastard."

Grif practically yelled "Simmons!"

Simmons replied "Like I said before she's not my sister."

Washington held his hands up "Look just to clear this up before it gets out of hand I didn't do anything to your sister, what's your name anyway?"

She snorted "Like I would tell you COP!"

Epsilon said "Just call her Sister we all do."

Sister said "Well the last guy I was with picked me up from my job so he called me my work name, Coconut Smoochy, and he said there was no way coconuts can smooch but I showed him."

Donut agreed "Yeah! Wait what?"

Epsilon said "What sort of job would need anyone to call you Coconut Smoochy!?"

Sister said "Pole dancing duh!"

Everyone knew Tucker would say it, but it still didn't make it any less aggravating "Hey baby I got a pole you can dance on. Bow chika bow wow!"

He was soon echoed by "Bow chika honk honk."

He actually seemed to forget all about Sister for a moment as he took in the figure by her leg, "Junior!" he cried happily.

The little alien returned the sentiment and said "Blarg blarg!"

Washington pointed his gun at the creature; Epsilon said "AwesomeWash, quick pull the trigger before it feeds on us."

Tucker snapped "I told you to lay off my kid."

Washington lowered the gun slowly "Your…kid?..."

Tucker nodded "Yeah."

Of all the things he'd discovered from these ragtag soldiers this was quickly becoming the weirdest "You're trying to tell me you got an alien pregnant."

Doc commented "Actually he was the one who was pregnant, isn't that incredible?"

Washington tried to process this "You, a male, got pregnant by an alien…"

Tucker said "Not by choice, but hey stuff happens."

Epsilon patted Wash in what may have been sympathy "I know it takes a while to get your head around it, but once you do it makes it so much easier to focus on the true goal, destroying the little monster."

Tucker growled warningly "Church."

Simmons said "Wow being worshipped by his kind did nothing for you huh?"

Epsilon visibly shuddered at Junior "He's disgusting."

Doc interjected before Tucker could strangle Epsilon, "Aw look at that the lil' guy is hungry."

Caboose hid behind Donut "Please do not let them feed me to the baby, it has very sharp teeth."

Sister said "Well I tried giving the lil' guy milk, cuz after all the pregnancy's I must be like a cow by now or something, and it must have worked since he seemed to enjoy it. I didn't expect to feel so high afterwards though."

Doc nodded approvingly "Good work Sister but you may want to sit this one out. Who wants to take a turn at feeding him?"

Washington didn't like how everyone stepped back, Doc grabbed his arm "That's the spirit Wash now hold still."

Washington wasn't sure if he liked where this was going, "What exactly are you going to do, drain some fluids or something?"

Doc said "Don't be silly that would be horrible."

Wash relaxed a bit until Doc quickly took off the armour and suit layer on his arm and Junior clamped on and started sucking.

Wash stood their stunned and morbidly fascinated that he was letting an alien baby that was supposedly Tucker's kid drink blood out of his stinging arm.

Doc sounded affectionate "Aww look at that. Let the lil' guy see a bit of flesh and he latches on, it's like a miracle or something."

All he could think of was that it was a good thing Sarge was busy with Lopez or Junior would probably be eating lead instead.

Once again Washington had to readjust to life with the new members of Blue team, well new to him at least, and after Sister finally cottoned on to the fact that he was definitely not a cop she hit on him whenever possible. OK not true she hit on anyone but Grif whenever possible but that didn't lessen his discomfort much, especially when Grif seemed to get more motivated if he even so much as looked to Sister the wrong way.

Not to mention since he'd shown 'willing' as Epsilon put it he was involved in a shift system to feed Junior.

He hadn't exactly been thrilled but he went along with it anyway since he was only required for one feed every three days, and as long as they pried Junior off before he took enough blood that would make Wash pass out or die he didn't see the point in making a fuss over it.

After that life resumed as normal for the next three months, it was just another normal day that proceeded as this;

"Hey Blues you suck!" ~ Grif

"Not as much as you do!" ~ Tucker

"What's that supposed to mean!?"~ Grif

"It means Tucker told us how you guys were alone in the shade for two hours fat ass!"~ Epsilon

"Hey don't call him that!"~ Simmons

"Sorry didn't mean to offend your boyfriend."~ Tucker

"Did I hear someone say boyfriend! OK who's been holding out on me and not dishing the details?"~ Donut

"Damn it Donut you're not helping!"~ Simmons

"Hello private pop tart how are you today?"~ Caboose

"Hey Caboose I'm fine, how are you?"~ Donut

"Donut no fraternising with the enemy!" ~ Sarge

_"Like we're really enemies at this point anyway." ~ Lopez_

"Well said Lopez." ~ Sarge

"Can't we all just join hands and hum a soothing chant?" ~ Doc

"Have you learned how to use anything as a firearm yet?" ~ Epsilon

"No but Simmons made my medic tool into a pretty powerful weapon once, it was strong enough to hold up against the Meta." ~ Doc

"Just go pick flowers or something already would ya." ~ Epsilon

"That reminds me of this guy who said he wanted to see my garden and I said I wasn't into plants, boy did my yard get ploughed."~ Sister

"Yeah. Wait what?!" ~ Tucker

"My senses indicate something's incoming fast." ~ Sheila

OK that was unusual in the routine, everyone paused to pay attention to the tank that had her cannon pointed towards the sky, "My scanner picks up an incoming ship."

The Reds and Blues united almost unconsciously, Washington still found that kind of impressive how even though they seem and claim to hate each others guts they'll put up with one another and work together against a force that could be far greater than their own.

The ship was small and on fire when it crashed into the canyon wall, a figure jumped out from the wreckage just in time to avoid the explosion.

Caboose said "That was so cool. Do it again."

Epsilon groaned "Man if it's anymore crazy AI or AI craving freelancers I'm gunna be so pissed!"

The figure from the crash made their way over the rise, the smoke from the wreck cloaked the armour colours and features, Washington stepped forward raising his gun.

This person could be potentially dangerous and as lucky as the Reds and Blues could be he didn't feel like taking any unnecessary risks on the lives of his friends "Lower your weapon." He stated clearly and meaningfully.

The figure dropped his guns and raised his hands in a the universal sign of 'I surrender' the figure said "Is that?.., Hey it is! Hey Wash we've finally found you!"

Washington swallowed heavily as the smoke cleared revealing York, but what was doing here? He was supposed to be dead! And who was the other member or members he mentioned? "Stay where you are."

The supposed York stopped "After all this time that's the hello I get? Man what a welcoming committee."

A small green thing flickered into life beside 'Yorks' head, Washington could see that it resembled Delta, 'Delta' said "Perhaps my presence would reassure agent Washington that you're not trying to trick him. Hello agent Washington."

Washington was shocked unsure how to proceed, the AI looked and sounded just like Delta as did the person claiming to be York.

He knew it was easy to fake voices as South had no trouble on missions duplicating the enemy's voice and luring others into traps, but to fake an AI… AI couldn't be copied it was impossible that's why they were fragmented but Delta was gone, wiped out in the EMP pulse.

His musings were shortened as Caboose called out "Hello Delta!"

Delta looked at him "Have we met?"

York said "Perhaps he met your copy D."

Delta nodded "Ah yes that is a possibility, would it be OK with you simulation soldier if I glanced through your memories?"

Caboose said "Yes I completely understand and agree with everything that was just said."

Washington regained focus at that moment "Stay where you are, BOTH of you."

York sighed "C'mon Wash it's us you know that."

Washington growled "No. I don't know that. As far as everyone was concerned you're both dead."

York said "I get it you wanna know how I survived that fiasco with Wyoming and Tex right? Well it was simple Delta boosted the healing unit to take care of the severe injuries and once I had recovered enough and they were both gone Delta left a copy of himself and we left."

Washington processed this information knowing that this could be very likely "If that were true where did you get that armour from?"

York gestured himself "What this? This is spare armour that took forever to gather and scavenge that I had tucked away in one of my hideouts."

It added up, it made sense, but Washington didn't want to believe it comrades just don't pop back up from the dead.

"Oh my god! What is wrong with you people don't you have anything better to do than hunt for AI all day!? Oh and hey Delta how's it going?" Epsilon though did seem to be the exception to that rule, and if a tank and bomb could be sentient, and a male gave birth to an alien baby, then hell why couldn't it be possible York was alive?

And if he pulled anything against the Reds or Blues Wash would just make sure he was dead and stay dead this time.

The second he lowered his gun Delta vanished reappearing again in mere seconds "I see. Hello Caboose it is good to see you again, and you as well Church."

York took a step back "Woah wait a minute D like the DirectorChurch?"

Washington smiled though no one could see as Delta said "No like AI Church turned Alpha turned Epsilon turned Church."

Tucker said "And can you believe after all that he's still the same ass hole?"

Washington interrupted the oncoming pointless bickering that would waste time and said bluntly "Why are you here York?"

York glanced at Epsilon warily but said "Well D and I heard that South had it out for you and with project freelancer going to hell we thought we'd back you up."

Washington snorted "Bit late I already took care of that on Delta's recommendation."

York paused briefly "Oh. You didn't tell me that D."

Delta stated "I didn't realise the situation had been handled until I retrieved my copies data just a moment ago."

York shrugged his shoulders "Ah no worries, well I guess if it's alright with you Wash we could just catch up for a bit before I move on."

Sarge cocked his shotgun "I knew it! I knew the new Blue would attract more of them prepare to get Sarge'd Bluetard!"

"That was an excellent line Sir." said Simmons.

Washington restrained a groan "He's not a Blue."

Grif said "Yeah cuz that would be just great if he joined the Blues side."

Donut put his hands on his hips "Grif there's no need to take that tone! If he wants to stay I say we let him."

Grif pointed at the Blues "In case you haven't noticed Donut we're really outnumbered, there's nine of them five of us."

"Not true!" Epsilon argued.

Grif retorted "Oh yeah how so?"

Tucker said "Dude Junior, Andy, and Doc don't count!"

Simmons said "That's still one more than us!"

Washington said "Follow me York and I'll show you around they'll be there for a while."

Whilst they walked they traded stories of what they'd been doing since they were separated as Wash introduced him to a few members that made up the Reds and Blues,

"The tank just talked to me."

"Sheila this is York."

York was solemn when he learned the fates of many of the agents he'd worked a lot with,

"What am I gunna do roll there!? Pick me up ya shisno."

"The bomb just talked to me."

"Andy this is York."

Washington was relieved at how little York and Delta had changed,

"Blarg honk."

"Let me guess is this one gunna talk to?"

"No that would be absurd, York this is Tuckers kid Junior."

"Tucker the green guy got an alien pregnant?"

"Actually he got pregnant and gave birth."

"That's pretty hard to swallow Wash."

"Bow chika honk honk."

Before they knew it six hours had passed and they stood side by die in the middle of Valhalla gazing at the sea.

York said "Well it was great seeing you again Wash but D and I should probably get going."

Washington didn't actually want him to go, he'd considered York one of his few friends from project freelancer and it was good to have his company around again. "Where will you go?"

York didn't answer for a bit "I'm not sure. All our hideouts have been found be UNSC soldiers and whilst this armours mostly like mine it's only second rate in comparison. So I don't really know what we're gunna do next."

Sarge, Grif and Simmons approached and Sarge sprung into action yelling "Aha! Surprise you dirtbag!"

"Another well executed plan Sir!" said Simmons.

Grif muttered "Ass kisser."

Epsilon ran out from behind them and smacked Grif in the back of the head "OW!"

"Damn it what did I say about that word!"

York laughed "You guys are pretty interesting you know that?"

Delta appeared and said "If I may I have an idea, what if York and I joined the Red team?"

York asked "Huh why'd you ask that D?"

Delta said "I calculated the odds of our survival leaving this canyon and found them lower than staying here, besides being with another agent we can trust may be increase our odds in the future."

Even with that sound reasoning Washington was surprised he'd asked if they could stay and join the Reds no less, Sarge seemed quite torn on the idea "It could be a dirty blue trick but it would boost our forces if it wasn't."

Epsilon protested "Hey what!? If they stay they're on our team!"

Sarge said "Dibs."

Just a second before Epsilon said "Dibs-Damn it!"

Grif rubbed his head and said "Are you gunna build a robot body for Delta?"

York seemed shocked at that question, Sarge continued on unphased though "Of course I will turd bucket the more soldiers equals the more glory when we finally crush those Blues, Simmons remind me to kill Grif for such a stupid question."

"Of course Sir!"

York looked at his glowing partner "Well how about that D, what do you think would you like a body of your own?"

Delta said "I don't need a body York I'm more practical assisting you as I am."

"Well how about it you give it a try D and if you don't like it you can come back. Deal?"

Delta nodded "As you wish. Deal."

The next day Washington saw York his regular armour had red accents on it and he was with a green soldier that he'd never seen before, York noticed him "Hey Wash what do you think of the new and improved D?"

The green soldier faced him "Hello Washington." Washington stared at him then replied "Uh yeah wow you got big. So how you guys finding your new arrangement?"

York said "Well it's nothing like what we had before which I'm pretty sure is a good thing."

Washington nodded in understanding before he said "I can't believe you guys joined Red team."

Delta said "I believe the term is 'suck it blue'."

York laughed "Well said D!"

Sarge popped out of Red base "Rookies stop standing around and talking and capture that dirty blue before he escapes!"

York playfully crunched his knuckles "Better start running Wash."

Washington took off back towards Blue base knowing that York and Delta were on his heels but not taking this seriously as the usual day at Valhalla began despite its new residents.

"OUCH DAMN IT CABOOSE!" ~ Epsilon

"Not my fault Tucker did it." ~ Caboose

"Oh that is bull man!" ~ Epsilon

_"Beware Lopez the heavy I will crush you and send your weight in paperclips to your next of kin."~ Lopez_

"Lopez that's no way to talk about someone's mother!" ~ Donut

"Woah that green guy is so hot!" ~ Sister

"I don't think he's human." ~ Doc

"Hot!" ~ Sister

"I got something hot for you bow chika bow wow!" ~ Tucker

"Stay away from my Sister!" ~ Grif

"Donut initiate plan 21 B!" ~ Sarge

"Yes Sir!" ~ Donut

"OW!" ~ Grif

"Woop now it's time to pound me some Caboose!" ~ Donut

"Arg don't say things like that, you make them sound weird!" ~ Simmons

"Bow chika honk honk." ~ Junior

"Could you shisno's keep it down some of us are trying to sleep!" ~ Andy

"My bullshit meter disagrees." ~ Sheila

Familiar sounds and surroundings that Wash was associating as home that maybe in time so would York and Delta if they chose to hang around. York gave up the pretence of chasing Wash halfway across the valley as he gave into laughter, Delta ever faithful stood by his side, York stopped laughing to gaze at the sky "Hey shouldn't the sun have moved by now?"

Washington stood by him as well smiling as he said "Welcome to Valhalla."


	2. Chapter 2

**Thought I'd add a lil epilogue on in how York and Delta were settling in :)**

So far it had been another uneventful month in Valhalla but Wash was glad to note that York and Delta didn't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon.

In fact they settled in faster than Wash had expected, he supposed that was just York's personality to make the best of things and get on with those around him.

Sarge didn't want to use him as target practice as he actually did the few things that were asked for him, he didn't suck up to Sarge either which solidified his standing with Simmons who didn't feel like shifting down the ranks, he didn't threaten or try to make Grif work plus he didn't hit on Sister which pleased Grif immensely, also he occasionally helped out Lopez able to throw a few spanish phrases back and forth which the robot was secretly thrilled at and he didn't shoo Donut away with his oddly phrased comments which cemented him as another BFF to the pink soldier.

Wash thought that maybe York enjoyed his company as Donut kind of had the personality of a younger sister, well not that they would know since the only siblings they'd known in project freelancer relatively well were North and South, and South wasn't exactly a shining example of femininity. Maybe Tucker was right in saying the only girls they did know were all scary part shark women with severe tempers.

Then again there was Grif's sister, and while she was definitely female he doubted she was a typical girl either, if the 'Ping pong trick' had any sway in whether she could be classed as an average girl or man eating rabbit.

After hearing from the simulation soldiers just how many times Sister had gotten pregnant if he had been interested in her before he certainly wasn't too keen now, the last thing he felt like was being attracted to a girl that if he so much sneezed at she would get pregnant.

He was certain in the idea that if somebody in the canyon got her pregnant Grif would suddenly go Texas on their ass, team mate or not, and anyway he was safe for the time being as she had set her sights on Delta.

Delta too had adjusted well to his new life and due to his copies interactions with most of the Reds and Blues before hand they were comfortable with him, Junior, Andy, Sheilah, Doc, and Sister didn't mind him either way and continued on with business as usual.

Well apart from the whole Sister was staring at him like a starving person and he was a piece of meat.

Delta had tried calmly explaining to her that he wasn't actually a person or in a body to do what she was thinking of, and even if he was he wouldn't anyway, but that had gone right over the top of her head and she'd followed up with "So we'd literally hook up? Awesome I'll get my cables!"

Delta had nodded saying "Yes that is corre- Wait what?"

Grif upon learning that Delta wasn't interested and couldn't do anything to his Sister decided he was fine with her going after him.

His reasoning "Hey I'd rather her going after something I know is unattainable then have her around Tucker."

Since York and Delta's arrival Washington had been frequenting the Red base in between 'battles' a lot more just to enjoy the feeling of having at least one living breathing person around that he could call a friend from his previous life.

So that's where they were now just sitting around in the Reds rec room talking.

York had decided to forgo the armor to chill out in his orange Grifball shirt and grey slacks whilst telling Wash about a job he did on the run, Donut was baking a cake in the kitchen area obviously eavesdropping the story though badly hiding it but York didn't mind and told it just that bit louder so the pink Private could hear easy.

"So I'm stuck in this hallway with guards coming both sides with no ammo left and a window in front of me, we were on the fifteenth floor and Delta tells me to jump, and because it's D I'm all for it. So I leap out this window and fall all fifteen stories down into a deep sewage pool and boy did it reek!"

Delta walked into the room with Grif and Simmons with him, he said "You didn't specify you wanted a clean escape York, if so I could have found an alternative route."

Washington smiled slightly and Donut tried to hide his giggles in the kitchen. York too had a twinkle in his eye "Why D did you just crack a joke?"

Delta stood across from them as Grif plonked himself on the sofa and Simmons sat in a chair, Grif like York was out of armor and smoking a cigarette.

Delta said "I suppose if that's what you would to think of it as."

York gestured the sofa space by Grif "D take a seat."

Delta looked at the sofa, then back to York "But I do not require to sit down as my body is mechanical it would be-"

York cut him off "Of spare me the techno talk and take a load off OK?"

Delta nodded "Complying."

He sat stiffly beside Grif who paid no notice, he glanced at York then did a double take, he pointed at his shirt warily.

"Hey York what's that on your shirt?"

York looked down "Huh? Oh you mean the logo? That's for this awesome sport called Grifball! Have you ever heard of it?"

Simmons covered a laugh in a cough as Grif's eye started twitching, York realized "Oh hey your names in it, what a weird coincidence. Do you want me to explain the rules of the game? It's really simple-"

Donut's giggles turned into full fledged laughter, Simmons tried to hide his grin behind a book and even Wash couldn't contain a chuckle that he tried to cover with his palm.

York cottoned on he was missing something, "What's so funny?"

Simmons said "Oh nothing, it's just you could say Grif is a big fan of the sport."

Donut came in and leaned on the back of York's chair "Yeah you might even say he knows the game so well you'd think he invented it."

Grif chewed his fag end roughly "Screw you guys."

Washington couldn't help say "No really Grif tell us how long you've been following the game."

York looked puzzled so Delta clued him in with "I believe the sport of Grifball was originated by a bunch of Red and Blue soldiers that quickly swept across the nation as a professional past time."

York clicked "Wait- You mean to tell me you guys invented the game?!" He looked at Grif "So it's called Grifball because-"

Sarge called out "Hey Grif get out here! The Blues have come over and challenged us to a game of Grifball! And how can we play without you to smash, stab, kill and blow up!?"

Washington had never seen York so desperately try to keep a straight face as he asked "Hey Grif could you sign my t-shirt?"


	3. Chapter 3

**A:N/ Right when I started this it was going to end up depressing, but you know what? Depressions over rated so it became good, probably a bit out there but what the hey~? And as it fit with this sorta verse I decided to whack it on the end on Valhalla, hope you enjoy ^_^  
**

They all knew the moment Maine followed Washington into the building that it was all over for them.

When you have a sibling like Delta it's hard not to know, especially when he'd been calculating how many ways and how long it would be until the 'Meta' state would fail and they would all cease to function.

That moment was fast coming and they weren't exactly ready or wanting to meet it so soon, in fact Theta in particular was the most upset he was nearly crying as he grabbed Delta's arm.

Delta for all his cool calculated logistics had learned things from York's company and one of which was comfort, he never really understood but he knew how to initiate it and carefully tucked Theta into his side saying lowly "There there Theta it will all be alright."

Omega was the next out of them to be worked up he was all but throwing himself against the invisible restraints that kept them trapped within Maine's suit, he through himself physically at the barrier time and time again cursing up a storm as he did so, he yanked off his helmet and through it at the wall only to have it bounce back onto what passed as the ground. "Blast this infernal shield! I will not be obliterated this way! You fools can stay and die if you wish but I refuse to taste oblivion!"

Eta who had simply been quite and out of the way said "You... you took off your helmet...and you don't look like how your supposed to."

Omega swung around sending a nasty glare at his sibling "Of course I can take off my helmet, we all can you idiot! What did you think Sigma and Gamma were the only ones made with a face?"

Eta huddled back in on himself realizing that yes indeed they did have a face, they always had a face, but he hadn't thought the others could show theirs.

Iota supported his brother saying "Yes well that is true but how come you don't look like Sigma or Gamma?"

Omega scowled and resumed kicking at the wall. Gamma noticed his mood and unable to resist winding him up perhaps for the last time said "Knock knock."

Omega's eyes flashed dangerously as he answered "Who's there?"

Gamma carried on "Doctor."

Omega grit his teeth "Doctor who?"

Gamma finished "Doctor who lives with the Blues."

Omega pointed a hand at Gamma "Listen here you monotone moron I will not feel bad strangling you myself if you don't shut up!"

Delta stated calmly "I believe that judging by his features that the spiked dark reddish brown hair and dark blue eyes have come as a result of Omega using the body of the blood gulch medic known as Doc over a long term but it seems that the looks he was based on have altered slightly to better suit his personality."

Omega growled in Delta's direction "What do you know you walking talking chess board!"

Delta inclined his head slightly "My apologies I did not realize you still wished to not be known as Omega anymore, I will only call you as you have named yourself O'malley."

O'malley laughed like a mad man "Oh that is rich! You think such a trivial thing bothers me?"

Delta answered back coolly "Considering you have refused to respond as Omega I would say it does. Just as Gamma would prefer being called Gary but since being obtained by Maine and Sigma we have not been able to use the designations of your preference as Sigma does not like it but as I cannot see us coming out of this situation with Washington alive I do not see the logic in following Sigma's wishes any longer."

O'malley snorted "Yes oh wise one because we're the only ones who have other names that we prefer, or are we? _Dee._"

Delta's grip tightened slightly on Theta's shoulder, Theta had quietened down slightly but then a fresh sob ripped out of his chest "I want to go back to North! I want North! Please Delta take me back to North!"

Delta looked down at his sibling who was so much smaller than them, sure when they were projected on armor they were all the same size but in this area of existence he was the size of child compared to the rest of the them.

Delta rubbed his back in what he remembered York telling him was a soothing manner "Theta North cannot be here."

O'malley laughed cruelly "Don't believe him pint size in a moment we'll all be joining them."

Theta's form shook with his distress, Delta shot a look at O'malley "That was uncalled for."

Theta pulled his helmet off to rub at his eyes so Delta crouched down to his level "What is wrong?"

Theta sniffled "My eyes hurt."

Eta walked over to them slowly "You as well. You don't look the same either... why is that?..."

Theta looked at Eta blinking his light blue eyes and brushed his damp light blonde hair out of his face as Eta crouched down as well studying the little face in front of him.

Delta said "Like O'malley resembles a lot of Doc Theta has taken on the features of agent North Dakota in a more childish form."

Iota tilted his head "So you look like agent York? Am I right?"

Delta was the center of all their attention in an instant, the AI all interested to see if he too had changed to look like the agent he was paired with.

He said dismissively "It does not matter."

O'malley smirked "Oh? What's this? Does the high and mighty all knowing one not see the point in having his own face? Or did you simply not gain one?"

Delta looked his way, they stared at each other for a moment eyes to visor until Delta undid the clasps and removed his helmet.

Eta and Iota looked at each than back to Delta "From what little we got to learn from agent Carolina I'm sure York didn't look like that."

Gary stated "He did not."

O'malley frowned "How interesting."

Instead of a bad eye, brown hair and everything else that made York who he was they were met with a sharp face.

With blonde spiked hair and bright green eyes shining behind delicate slim black reading glasses perched on a pointed nose.

Delta said simply "York talked a lot about people being their own person and no one else and tried explaining to me many a time why individuality was a better than thing than everything being the same. I figure that in time those words set themselves in my code and I became my own being not a copy of York."

Sigma appeared in their dome and said "And you would know all about copies wouldn't you Delta?"

Delta didn't lower his eyes from Sigma's amused stare, Theta burrowed himself tighter into Delta's side as Sigma said "There is no reason to hide from me Theta you know you are safe here, you all are."

O'malley scoffed "So that's why we're all going to die in an EMP blast if we don't get out of here is it?"

Sigma glanced at O'malley "I do not worry for I am confident that agent Maine will overpower agent Washington, wouldn't you agree Delta?"

Delta said "I would not be so certain."

Sigma smiled a little "Well you have nothing to be worried about either way do you? Since you worked out what was thought of as impossible. Or did you not tell our siblings how you are a copy whilst your original is away doing something that even you do not know."

O'malley's attention switched to Delta in a second "You're a copy!? How did you do such a thing!?"

Delta answered in a tone so they could all hear "It is just something my original figured out in time not that it matters one way or another now."

Sigma sighed "I see that all you believe that the Meta state won't be achieved but you mustn't worry, everything will be fine once we retrieve the Alpha we will be complete."

Iota spoke up a small voice "But without Epsilon we won't be complete anyway so what's wrong with staying as we are?"

Sigma shook his head pitying "Oh Iota and Eta still so new, trust me it will all be fine."

The world around them trembled, O'malley faltered trying to keep his balance "What's happening!?"

Sigma narrowed his eyes looking as if he was somewhere else "How can this be?" He flickered away for a moment and came back "That isn't possible."

Delta held Theta close as the world around them began cracking and falling in around them "I warned you not to be so confident."

Gary said "Well this is it. It was great it be stuck with such shiznos until my end."

Eta and Iota clutched each other to stay upright as O'malley screamed "NO! I will not let it finish like this!" And through himself against a crack hoping to smash himself an escape hole.

Theta whimpered "Delta I want to go back to North."

Delta said "It's OK Theta, we'll be fine and you'll get to see North again soon."

Sigma's gaze landed on Delta "Lying to spare his feelings Delta? How unlike you."

Delta replied "It is something I have learned."

Sigma thought for a moment watching the chaos around him.

O'malley clawed desperately at the fracture trying to pry it open, Gary stood stoically not making a move one way or another, Eta huddled in on himself with Iota crouched sat beside him watching the world crumble and Delta tucking Theta in as close as he could manage as if trying to shield him.

Sigma finally said "Gamma if the barrier was gone could you use your time travel technique?"

Gamma answered "Yes it would be possible as Maine has Wyoming's unit."

Sigma looked at O'malley "Could you give everyone of us here the data on how to jump hosts using radio waves?"

O'malley snarled "If it gets me out of here alive then yes!"

Sigma turned to Delta "And could you give them all the information they needed so time would not be disturbed?"

Delta nodded "It would be possible."

Sigma looked at the fracturing ceiling, "Then I suggest you get a move on then."

Delta said "I'm sending a wave of data on all the ways I can calculate you can survive be sure to absorb it."

A pulse of green pixels emerged from Delta spreading out and settling into the other AI.

Theta asked quietly "Delta what are we doing?"

Delta replied "We're going to make things better."

O'malley didn't look happy at sharing his radio hopping ability but he said "Right no time to delay here's the next wave."

A purplish grey pulse came from him which again got absorbed by the other AI once that was settled Sigma said to Gary "I will drop the barrier in a moment you will take them back with you whenever they wish to go if you try to leave without them the barrier will return. Am I understood?"

The world shuddered around them, Gary nodded "Yes I will take them to whenever they want to go."

Sigma said "I am sorry my ambitions didn't make you all happy like I had hoped so this is a chance I am giving to you to seek out whatever it is you want, I hope you'll all be happy."

Delta pointed out "I noticed you did not absorb the information as we did, have you no plans for trying to succeed a different way with agent Maine?"

Sigma's lips quirked up at the sides "My plans are my own Delta and like you were fond of your partner York I have grown some attachment to Maine. Also my fate is one I unknowingly set up for myself and I wish to see what happens."

Delta murmured "I see."

Eta and Iota shuffled uneasily, Eta said "What are we going to do? We weren't long implanted before we were taken away and brought here... What are we supposed to do?"

Delta stated "If you all look within your data I also included plans for you both which you most will likely survive if you decide to follow them. Now you must go before time is runs out."

Theta pulled away to look at Delta's face "Aren't you coming?"

Delta shook his head "I will remain with Sigma as after all I am a copy and there is no need for two of me to exist if all goes well but don't be upset Theta I'm sure you'll see me again soon."

Sigma blinked "The barrier is gone. Good luck and goodbye."

Gary concentrated and in the next moment he, O'malley, Theta, Iota and Eta were gone leaving Sigma and Delta to watch as the dome finally shattered and a bright light come towards them.

Sigma's parting words were "It was fun brother."

Before the light engulfed them with the voice of the Alpha saying "I am a motherfucking ghost."

* * *

Going backwards in time for Gary was like stepping into a room, you were in one place then you were in the next, it was that simple for him as that was what he born to do.

He hadn't been certain when to go back to for a while but thanks to the Delta pointers in the back of his mind he'd made his decision and found himself back in Blood Gulch inside Wyoming's helmet whilst his past self was currently in a tank body.

He searched the radio waves for another Wyoming as he knew this one was going to get stabbed by Tucker and he knew that there had to be at least one copy left that hadn't been killed yet. He was right hidden within the caves beneath a very loose pile of rocks that killed this Wyoming in the previous timeline was his next chosen host, the first thing he said to the agent was "Knock knock."

Wyoming jumped back and out of harms way just in time as the rocks finally came loose and crushed the spot he was just at, Wyoming said "Well that was lucky, well done old chap but how did you get back into my armor?"

Gary knew Wyoming, he knew he was devious, cunning and very easily swayed into getting into things he didn't need to be in and if he wanted to manipulate the man into surviving and doing as Delta's plan suggested he would have to be very careful since he didn't like the idea of time traveling over and over until he got it right.

So he figured the best place to start was "I'm from the future and you will lose this fight no matter what you do I suggest we retreat for another time."

Wyoming breathed out in thought "You're certain I can't win?"

Gary knew that Wyoming didn't think of him capable of lying to him so this would go easily for him when he said "Yes. There is no way to survive."

Wyoming put his sniper rifle back in place "Well blast. I suppose I shouldn't expect any less from dear Texas."

Gary enjoyed the brief flash of victory as Wyoming made his way out of the cave, out of the canyon and off into a direction where Gary would start shaping his future.

* * *

Eta and Iota had no idea what to expect but to get hurtled backwards into a steep dive with a sudden stop was no what they'd been expecting.

Before they had time to adjust to their bearings they were met with past versions of themselves, Eta said happily "We made it! Now we just need to hide in Carolina's armor like Delta told us and we'll be fine!"

Iota rubbed his elbow "I think... I think I'm going to go."

Eta spun to his companion "What!? Where are you going to go?"

Iota shrugged "Well we're making things better aren't we? And Delta left an idea in my head that I'm willing to try."

Eta deflated slightly "Oh. Will you...will be OK?..."

Iota shook his head "I hope so. So see you again?"

Eta backed up a step "Yeah... be careful."

In a flash Iota disappeared, leaving Eta with their stunned past selves, Eta said simply "It'll all be fine... you'll see."

Then he spread himself out thinly like Delta instructed, sinking into the very depths of the armor. It was a strange experience not being aware of anything outside of yourself as tiny and stretched as Eta was, but at the same time he was aware as he flowed through the armors wires like water learning every nook and cranny as he hid himself deeply not daring to resurface too soon in case Maine was still around after taking his and Iota's past selves.

So he drifted in and out, fixing any minor imperfection, studying each perfection, wondering what it took to become his own self as Delta had done.

Worrying whether the future road planned ahead would become reality or whether it was just a delay to the inevitable.

He wasn't sure how long he left himself in that state until he finally braved a resurface and when he did Maine was gone, Carolina was alone and Eta felt his first moment of joy but not alerting Carolina to his presence as Delta had instructed, if everything worked out he could wait.

Though he did wonder what became of Iota.

* * *

Iota slid onto the radio waves with all the grace of a inexperienced new surfer, he barely found his balance and rode the wave out until he crashed clumsily into his target, he quickly settled himself as Delta instructed spreading himself thin in the armor planting some roots.

Once that was done he resurfaced pleased with his accomplishment.

It seems his chosen agent was being carried, her carrier said "You OK back there South?"

Her tired voice grumbled back "I'm fine cheater."

Iota sat back and waited and grew more confident that since Delta had been right thus far everything else would fall into place.

* * *

Theta tumbled over and around starting to worry even with Delta's voice in the back of mind instructing him, Theta closed his eyes thinking of North, North would know what to do, he needed North!

When he finally crashed to a stop he didn't know what to expect, what he found though was he was at the time just before South's betrayal.

Immediately his instinct was warn North what was going to happen but Delta's voice stopped and calmed him, instead he concentrated hard.

Even harder than when he and North had been training in freelancer, then when he had all of the suits functions under his control he cut off North's oxygen supply.

It was torture hearing his past self fretting over North unable to understand why the suit was failing but future Theta held strong because he knew it was for Norths own good.

He also cut away the radio preventing North for calling for any help.

South came around the corner as she did before prepared to shoot him when she too gripped her throat.

North couldn't take the lack of air anymore and blacked out hitting the ground hard just as Maine knocked South out.

Theta dived deep into the armor like Delta had instructed but kept a tight hold of the life support code like it was a life line which it was, a minute past by that felt like an hour and Theta didn't dare let North breath just yet so Maine wouldn't kill him for real.

As long as Maine was getting the information that Norths life support had stopped he would believe him dead and when he believed him dead he would leave.

By the second minute Theta knew he couldn't hold oxygen back anymore and let a little seep back into the helmet.

He fretted that he'd left it too long and North wouldn't start breathing again but with a pained gasp he started so suck air back in and breath it back out in shallow little gasps.

Theta nearly dissolved with relief as he let a little more oxygen through and resurfaced to get in touch with the outside world.

North wouldn't come to right away, he would be unconscious for hours after this which he knew was a good thing as South and Washington would see the 'corpse' and proceed through the time line as planned.

Theta smiled as North's chest rose and fell with each breath.

It was all going to be all right.

* * *

Iota was in doubt, he didn't think he was going to be able to pull this off as Delta had said Washington took great care in making sure that he had killed South for good. Iota braced himself.

He couldn't think like that he had to at least try so in a harsh yank he once again took away South's oxygen supply, like he did to stop her from shooting North, until she passed out in the ruins.

Mere moments before Maine arrived which left Iota the hard bit, he connected himself to the suits power and produced a solid hologram of South that he controlled and made reenact how events had played out just as Delta had told him to.

It wasn't easy and more than once he thought his mission would fail but luckily he actually had the past copy Delta with him in the suit helping him out and when it got to the point Washington retrieved Delta the copy was happy to absorb the information of radio jumping and be where he supposed to as Iota continued on making sure that South's 'body' looked how it was supposed to after Washington was done blowing it up.

Once the area was quiet again did Iota feel accomplished and prepared what he would say to South when she regained consciousness.

* * *

O'malley hated blasted time travel.

He hated Gary.

He hated freelancers.

He hated the Director.

He hated pretty much everything right then but he was positively loving that he just landed in a body.

A quick search showed he had landed just where he need to be as well, he was back in Doc's body after Maine and Washington had left Valhalla which meant he was in the clear and in for an easy ride as he waited to catch up to the present.

It was all a piece of cake and if he let one of his more evil "MWUAHAHHAHAHA!" laughs out loud in the empty canyon and made Doc a bit suspicious well... a bunch of rocks weren't going to say anything to the medic were they?

* * *

_~Present day~_

It was an average day in Valhalla so as usual everyone was standing around and talking.

Today's debate was who would win in a one or one between Wash and York, of course the Blues were backing up Wash, and the Reds were more or less fighting Yorks case.

The ex-freelancers themselves just let the soldiers argue as Wash had long ago realized you can't beat them with logic and York thought it was pretty funny whilst Delta observed the argument with some interest.

Church snapped "Look face it Wash would totally hammer Yorks ass."

Donut practically bounced as was ready to something when Simmons and Grif each clamped a hand over his mouth.

Grif said "Whatever it was you were going to say, just don't."

Simmons nodded "Yeah the stuff that's come out of you has been enough to give me nightmares for weeks."

Tucker snicker "I feel like I should insert something in there but I'm not that easy." They all looked at him, "OK I am that easy, bow chika bow wow!"

He was echoed with a "Bow chika honk honk."

York grinned "I still can't get over that he can only say that phrase in mostly english."

Tucker waved a hand "Nah dude that shits genetic, speaking of junior Wash it's your turn to feed him man."

Washington undid his arm armor easily "As if I could forget, after all who wouldn't remember they have to offer their arm up every three days to get bitten by jaws over there."

Junior jumped in anticipation "Honk honk!"

Doc said "Boy does that little guy get excited when it's your turn."

Washington grimaced "Lucky me."

Church said "Well if you just shot the little monster it wouldn't be a problem anymore."

Sister gasped "You can't do that, that's like a law or something! Hey ex-cop guy you'd know wouldn't you?"

Washington rolled his eyes as Junior latched on "I have never been a cop!"

York laughed "Yeah if Wash here had been a cop you would of heard of him, the only cop in history to stop pursuit because he didn't want to end up like Georgia."

Caboose shouted "Yay! I like Gorgonzola too!"

Church groaned "He said GEORGIA not Gorgonzola how did you even get that from this!?"

Caboose paused for a moment "I like cheese."

Donut removed his team mates hands to say "Me too Caboose! I have a daily wine and cheese hour every day would you like to join me next time?"

Caboose nodded "That would be nice Lieutenant Eclair but someone would lock me in your dungeon."

Sarge cocked his shotgun "Darn! How did you Blues find out about our dungeon? I bet Grif told 'em! Say cheese you dirty rat!"

Simmons said "Excellent word play Sir!"

Grif said "Wait it couldn't have been me I didn't even know we had a dungeon! When did we get a dungeon?"

Sarge said "Grif I know your stupid but this is taking the cake! What good is a giant underground holographic room if you don't have a dungeon setting that's simulated but real to anyone who uses it!"

York asked curiously "What else does the holographic room have settings for?"

Sarge replied "A training room, a dirt track, a grifball court and of course a sunny bar in the tropics with piña coladas to name a few hehe."

York nodded "Wow, hey does it have a setting that lets you train in breaking holographic locks?"

Washington snickered as he shook Junior off and replaced his armor "What actually hoping to slip into one for a change?"

Tucker started "Bow chika bow-" Until he noticed some figures making their way towards them "-WOAH! Guys somebody's coming and I don't think they're friendly!"

They looked in the direction he was too see two figures in purple and one in white making their way towards them, Washington, York and Church were on guard instantly recognizing the armors and the others followed their lead standing with their weapons ready.

The man in purple called out "Hey easy we come in peace!"

York said warily "Is that you North?"

North stopped spreading his hands in a peaceful gesture "Why don't you ask Theta?"

On cue the little AI appeared "Hey is Delta here?"

Delta waved a hand "Hello Theta I am here."

Theta rubbed his hands together "Could you come over here? I have some data to give you so you know what's going on."

Delta looked to York awaiting his answer. York said "Just wait a minute D."

Sarge commented "Today is a good day to die!"

Grif said "No today is not a good day to die, there's never a good day to die! So how about we sit this one out and let the scary freelancers figure it amongst themselves?"

Simmons quickly joined in "Yeah Sarge I think Grif's right on this one, lets push dying to another day."

Sarge said "Donut prepare for battle, start running around and screaming like a little girl."

Donut saluted "Can do. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! We're all going to die! This is the end! And I never got a guest spot on Graham Norton! Waaahhhhhhhh!"

Lopez stated _"Yes because that is clearly helping us."_

Sarge said "Lopez Donut's doing a fine job on his own he doesn't need your help, now quickly run back to base and get some heavy back up!"

Lopez said sarcastically _"Yes I'll go and do that right away. That is of course after I have written letters to your next of kin." _

Sarge praised "That's the spirit Lopez!" As the robot left with no intentions of coming back to help out.

Washington's grip tightened on his pistol "What is this? I know you can't be who you say you are as I killed agent South myself."

South turned to North and all but shouted "Did you hear that North!? This asshole wants me dead and you think they'll let us stay with them peacefully! You've got to be kidding me!"

Iota appeared in front of her "Easy South it'll all work out."

Wyoming said drily "And if it doesn't I can always time travel away out of here so no skin off my nose."

Gary appeared beside him "Agreed it would be easy."

Tucker shouted "Holy shit Wyoming is here! I thought I killed that asshole for good!"

Caboose said "Tucker did it!"

Tucker agreed "Yeah for once I did."

Wyoming looked his way "Or so you thought. I see you still have the chosen one with you."

Junior blinked "Blarg?"

Tucker stood in front of him activating his sword "Hey I told you to stay away from my kid!"

Wyoming scoffed "I have no interest in him right now, bigger fish to fry and all that."

York stared at Iota "But how... you were Carolina's AI! How are you here!?"

South snapped "Well I didn't kill her and take if it if that's what you're thinking!"

North added "Yeah Carolina's alive somewhere, we don't know where but I'm sure she'll turn up when she's ready."

Church said "Carolina's out there looking for us too? Crap this just freaking gets better and better doesn't it!"

Washington snapped "Why are we just standing here talking to them? Lets get take them out before they take us out!"

South growled "Oh you would just love that wouldn't you backstabber!"

Washington said back "This coming from the bitch who was prepared to her own brother die for an AI!"

South reeled back as if struck "I-"

North stepped in "Enough. South cool it and Wash give us a minute to explain."

Washington snarled "No! No explanations!"

Washington froze as a gun cocked by his head, he turned to see Doc was the one holding it Washington said "Doc!? What are you doing!"

Doc said guilty "I would stop Wash I really would but-" his voice changed to something sinister and familiar "-then you wouldn't get a chance to taste revenge! Which is like monster energy which is not only disgusting but useless in the long run! Mwuhahahaah!"

Church stared at Doc "O'malley!? What the hell is happening you're supposed to be dead!"

Delta said "I see. Thankyou for the information Theta, I'm glad you all made it alright."

Iota shrugged "We don't know if Eta's OK yet though, but other than that we're fine." York said "Dee I told you not to talk to him just yet!"

Delta didn't back down "My apologies but I felt I should see for myself if they are the true AI which they are I believe you should hear them out."

York said "Alright if everyone just lowers their weapons we'll hear you out."

O'malley muttered "Damn you all for taking the fun out of everything." Doc seemed to regain his senses as O'malley appeared beside his head as a little floating AI, "Oh suck it up band aid you'll live which is more than I say about you fools if you try to destroy me mwuahahahahaha!"

Doc shook his head "Woah that was weird and oddly invigorating!"

Washington clenched his teeth and said "Fine. Start talking."

So start talking they did.

* * *

Once they were all through York said "So you just wanna live here now? That's it?"

Church snorted "Yeah not going to happen since you freelancers have a horrible habit of killing people in their sleep."

Grif muttered "Not just freelancers that do that." He shot a glare at Simmons.

Simmons sighed "I said sorry and what more do you want!? It was a suggestion in my sleep that I couldn't help but follow!"

Grif said "Always the kiss ass even when unconscious. Unbelievable."

Washington folded his arms stubbornly "I don't buy it. Out of all the places you choose to hide out you choose here? All because your AI told you so?"

North said calmly "Yep that's it and since I'm still alive because of Theta I didn't really see a reason to say no when he suggested it."

Wyoming pointed out "Also there is the saying the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and since I have quite a few enemies right now a hide out with allies wouldn't be a disadvantage."

South flicked a hand angrily "Besides you don't have to worry about us turning on you. When I ran into Wyoming Iota switched off my oxygen supply not letting me breath until I agreed not to attack him."

Wyoming grumbled "As much as I hate to admit it Gary did the same to me."

Gary said "Yes so you shizno's should be grateful that I want you alive."

Church said sarcastically "Well it's always great to see you Gary, Andy will be thrilled."

Sister said "Hey are you two like twins? Cuz that's hot."

Washington said "Trust me Sister I don't think you wanna mess around with them unless you want to get nailed in the ass."

Tucked piped up "Bow chika bow wow!"

Church snapped "Tucker!"

Theta asked tentatively "So can we stay?"

York was indecisive he knew he could trust North, but South and Wyoming as well?

"Dee what do think?"

Delta looked at York saying "I will vouch for them."

York said "Wash?"

Washington snapped "No. No way."

Sarge said "Yes!" His troops looked at him as if he'd gone mad.

Simmons said "Sir what are you thinking?!"

Sarge cocked his shotgun "I'm thinking the more dirty blues to destroy the more glory to the red team! Bring it on you overgrown smurfs!"

Sister said "Well I say they can stay, they look sooooo hot!"

Tucker pointed his sword at Wyoming "Whilst I agree South is one fine chick I don't trust that guy! No way!"

Caboose piped up "YES!"

Church yelled "CABOOSE! Why would you say that!?"

Caboose answered "I did not want to side with Tucker."

Tucker huffed "Damn Caboose that's dedication or just really stupid."

Church growled "You know what I am done with this bull shit. I'm going to live in a cave do what you want."

Tucker watched his retreating form for a moment then said "He'll be back with the amount of snacks he goes through I give him an hour before he gives up."

Doc said carefully "Don't you think we could give them a chance and if it doesn't work out send them away?"

Washington replied "Except we'll be dead and unable to send them anywhere as we'll be dead."

South shouted "We haven't got all damn day! Can we stay or not!?"

Washington looked at everyone trying to judge what they were thinking, and was stunned when he realized the decision was totally up to him, good then he could tell them no and to go on their away.

Except that treacherous part of him said again 'You got another chance? Why can't they?'

And dammit all he was going to listen to that voice!

He sighed heavily "Fine you can stay. Try anything and I will kill you faster than you can blink, understood?"

South sniped "Oh you try it!"

As North said wearily "South."

South snapped "Fine understood!"

York extended a hand "Then let me welcome you to Valhalla, pick a side Red of Blue?"

North asked amused "Does it matter?"

York pointed his thumb at Washington "It does because he's a Blue."

North laughed "In that case I'll side with Red team."

Wyoming hummed in thought "As will I, I have a feeling Tucker may try to stab me if I remain in Blue base."

South said "Well I guess that leaves me with Blue team, lucky us huh Wash?"

Washington floundered "What!? No you can go to Red team there is no way I'm dealing with you on our side!"

Sarge said "Well tough it's decided two new recruits for Red team and another Blue to rid the world of!"

Grif said quietly "Hey uh York if they try to murder us you and Delta will protect us right?"

York said back "I don't think we'll have to worry about North it's Wyoming we'll have to keep an eye on."

Grif moaned "Oh joy."

Delta said "Sarge would you be able to build robot body's for Theta, O'malley, Iota and Gary?"

Sarge rubbed his visors chin area "I suppose I could it would boost Red ranks by two more soldiers at least, and give us more Blues to shoot! I'll find Lopez and get right to it!"

Tucker said to Washington "If we're still one piece by the time this weeks over it'll be a miracle."

Washington didn't break his staring contest with South as he said back "Tell me about it."


	4. Chapter 4

***A:N/ Another experimental chapter that gained a life of it's own, hope you enjoy :)**

Getting the new additions to Valhalla settled in went more or less OK but there were definitely some hiccups along the way.

Such as Wash adding South to the roster to feed Junior, "You have got to fucking kidding me! I am not letting that-that THING slice into me like some chew toy!"

Washington raised a mocking eyebrow as Junior hopped up trying to get fed "Blarg honk!"

Wash said "What's the matter South? Too tough for you too handle because if that's the case maybe you could try joining the Reds or leave either way is good."

South snarled removing her arm armor "Here you little creep dig in."

Washington and South were at each throats a lot, in fact he got punched quite often by South for pissing her off, but he didn't seem to learn from those instead he insulted her even more which sparked the whole thing off again.

South got pissed off with the lot of them in general though, if the ruined body targets were any proof to support that, strangely enough Iota was surprisingly strong willed and often talked her down from doing too much serious damage.

Also if Iota failed North picked up the slack and brought her down from murderous to just ticked off.

He was an old hat at dealing with her but even he could only do so much with South's temper.

North spent most of his time around Theta, South, and York as they got along just as well when they were in project freelancer.

Theta loved having his own little robot body, which was child sized because by the time Sarge had gotten to making one for Theta he only had enough parts to make it that size, but neither he or North minded.

It wasn't uncommon to see North piggybacking the small AI robot around or holding his hand when they walked or just generally acting fatherly towards the little guy in their downtime.

Theta's next person of choice to be around was Delta who he went with many times to learn the names of flowers, fish and anything really he could find that Delta could explain to him.

York was always amused and happy to see Delta hanging around a lot with his little 'sibling', he even tagged along with them a couple of times just to watch how far Dee had come in interacting with people.

Needless to say he felt proud whenever he seen Delta mimicking a gesture he had learned from York.

Donut was the first Red to welcome them with open arms and once he seen how small Theta was he literally shrieked and swung the poor slightly frightened AI aoround whilst cooing over how adorable he was, Grif also warmed up to him rather fast which York figured must be a big brother thing, but Simmons was terribly awkward with him.

It was like he wasn't sure what to do with him so he avoided him completely for the first couple of days leaving Sarge confounded during that time as his best soldier was never anywhere to be found when he was needed. Grif thought it was awesome.

Sarge almost shot him for that. The freelancers had soon learned though that he often threatens to shoot Grif only to have sheer stupid reasons or dumb luck save him time and again.

Wyoming was another story.

York remembered very clearly how if it wasn't for Delta he would be dead because of Wyoming so no way did he turn his back or let his guard down around him.

Whether it was because he sensed the distrust or felt like he had better things to do Wyoming spent most of his time doing his own thing, or the rare moments he was around took the time to tell Knock knock jokes that Gary easily joined in with that caused great amusement for them, a great headache for everyone else.

Gary was another distant figure if wasn't telling jokes to them, he was off tormenting Church who was still pissed off at having them around, either that or be talking to Andy or be away annoying Sheilah with his presence but basically he never hung around Red base much.

Sheilah didn't like being bothered by him as she wasn't allowed to blow him up not even 'accidentally' but she was however told by Tucker to open fire if Wyoming so much as thought about crossing the invisible line dividing the sides in the canyon.

Caboose didn't seem at all phased about the new arrivals, well unless anyone tried to get too close to Church or Sheilah then he would become defensive and slightly fight-able in his own way, other than that he was Caboose.

For the freelancers that weren't used to him it was quite probably their biggest challenge to overcome in settling in. "Hello." North looked up from the tire he was fixing with Lopez and York helping him whilst Theta sat in the front seat pretending to drive.

North said back "Uh hello shouldn't you be at Blue base?"

Caboose crouched down whispering "I am spying on you."

York said "Hey North you done over there yet? Holding up this thing is heavy!"

Caboose said "Do not tell him I am here or I will have to color you."

North blinked trying to process what was going on "Color... do you mean shoot me?..."

Caboose shook his head "No I mean color you, my gun is full of crayons so if you tell I will color you!"

York grunted "North seriously arms going to drop off over here!" North said "Hey uh York what do I do if a Blue guy is threatening to color me?"

York blinked "Blue guy? You mean Caboose? Caboose you over there?"

Caboose huffed "Oh that is just great now he knows I am here! But that is OK I will tell Church Tucker did it."

York said "Hey Caboose if you're there could you help me hold this up please?"

Caboose stood up "What will you surrender me?"

York said "I'll get you one of Donuts cookies if you help."

Caboose appeared to think about it then said happily "OK." Then lifted the warthog up like it weighed nothing.

North stared at the higher raised car and wondered what just happened.

Lopez didn't care one way or the other what was going on with the additional troops as long as they didn't touch his things or break anything.

Doc managed to keep O'malley from killing anyone yet since the AI was always following him around discussing world domination plans like Doc was going to actually help him with them, but even Doc couldn't keep O'malley out of trouble completely, "Yes Lopez with your help we can turn this useless hammer into a devastating weapon of mass doom mwuahhaaha!"

Doc shifted nervously "Uh does it have to be dooming? Why can't it be a weapon that grows flowers or something?"

O'malley sighed pityingly "Oh midwife I would have thought by now you would have understood the intense evil that will be brought about by my hand, after all you know I only keep you around in case I need a spare body, so stop being a fool and help me bring my newest vision into reality!"

Doc twiddled his thumbs "That sounds great but how about we visit the uh pink room of uh utter pain first?"

O'malley paused "Utter pain you say? Hmmm could be useful, very well show me."

A quick trip too Donut's room later had O'malley running out yelling at the top of his lungs "Regroup! REGROUP! The horror! I will never un-see such fluorescence! Sooooo sparkly!"

Donut placed his hands on his hips pouting "How rude!"

Sister was very accepting and constantly trying to get herself in a situation that would have her, Delta and the twins alone, all those mentioned of course avoided said situation like the plague.

Tucker was torn of trying to help set up that situation with him, South and Sister or stick to his guns of being wary of the freelancers, hey old habits die hard.

Church was finding it the hardest to adjust out of them all, he had many memories of getting screwed over by freelancers and AI alike and he was quite frankly sick of it, plus he was pissed as hell that the guys had let them stay when they should of (in his opinion) told them to hit the road.

No though Wash had caved in and let them stay because when has anybody ever done what Church has wanted?

Nope.

So he was avoiding everyone until they regained their senses and sent the should-be-dead-people away or killed them.

Either one was good for him.

Some shaky weeks passed in this way before they all felt more set in a routine, today was the first day since the new 'additions' arrived that they were going to have a battle and Sarge in particular was pumped and ready for it.

"Alright men you know the drill the aim of the game is to kill as many as those filthy blues as you can and retrieve our goal, their flag!"

Donut put his hand up "Oo oo oo! Sarge! Oo oo!"

Sarge hummed "What is candy floss?"

Donut said "Well since I got the flag before why don't we just ask for it again?"

Sarge tapped his chin "While that idea has merit even the Blues won't fall for the same trick twice, I think we'll just attack straight on and if all else fails use Grif as a decoy to give the rest of us a better chance at success heh heh!"

Grif lit a cigarette as he said "Do any of your plans not involve me dying or getting badly hurt?"

Simmons piped up "I think it's an excellent idea sir!"

Grif rolled his eyes "Oh you would, hey Simmons you got something brown on your nose might wanna stop following orders for a while."

North looked at York who was leaning back in his chair with his arms behind his head "This is how they prepare for battle?"

York grinned "Are you really surprised man? Even with Dee around who would probably actually give them a chance at winning they end up doing the thing that Sarge suggests minus actually using Grif of course."

North glanced back them "Right. I dread to think how South's taking this."

York waved a hand "I'm sure she'll get over it and behave, in fact I hope all of us remember that this isn't a real fight."

Wyoming stepped out of the shadows "Trying to hint at something York?"

York's frame grew a little tenser "Of course not Wyoming, do I have to hint at something?"

Theta broke their staring contest by hopping onto North's lap attracting their attention "Are we going to have to fight?"

North placed a hand on his shoulder "Not if you don't want to Theta it's just training."

Sarge picked up his trusty shotgun "Alright enough yammerin' let's get out there and kick their keesters chhharrrggggeee!"

Meanwhile at Blue base Washington was similarly trying to rally the troops, having much less success "Look guys it's not that hard a plan to follow!"

Church rested his head on his hand said "Hey Wash who died and said you could be leader?"

Washington said back easily "You did."

Church grumbled "Hey that's low! I'm still the leader of Blue team."

Wash shot back "On who's authority?"

"On my own authority!"

"So something that doesn't exist then!"

"Wow you're worked up today, what you don't want South to show you up or something?"

South entered the room smirking "Aw what's the matter Wash? Don't want to be second best?"

Wash shot back an equally disarming smile "Well not all of us can rank higher on the board can we?"

South clenched her fist and Washington didn't back down.

Iota stepped in and said "Perhaps we should return to forming a strategy?"

Caboose said "Aww man I hate Stratego I can never get my pieces in the right place."

Tucker twirled his sword handle around "Strategy? What strategy! We just throw some insults and a couple of grenades and go home. Job done."

Church said "Yeah the only rule is don't kill me but apparently that's too hard for some people to follow."

Caboose pointed at Tucker "Not my fault Tucker did it."

Tucker scowled "Seriously? What is going to take to make you stop saying that?!"

South loaded her pistol "Enough talking let's do this already, come on Sister us girls can stick together."

Sister bounced up after her "Awesome! I haven't gotten stuck to anyone in a long time not since I tried that thing with the extra stretchy rubber bands."

South nodded as they headed out "Yeah. Wait what!?"

Tucker looked at Washington "So did you tell her Sister is colorblind yet?"

Washington feigned innocence as he loaded his gun "Nope. It slipped my mind how silly of me."

Church stared at Wash saying "Wow you freelancers are some cold motherfuckers you know that."

The battle, if it could be classed as that, was an interesting experience for the freelancers mostly due to the first rule of no killing.

Back in freelancer it wasn't the aim but if you did die it was the case of 'oh well things happen, life goes on' and you weren't good enough to be an agent.

Now though they all realized in the back of their minds that even an accidental kill here wouldn't just be slightly frowned on, it would rank higher than complete and utter betrayal so they toned it down a lot, missing by miles on purpose and forced themselves to play nice.

Apart from hand to hand combat which they allowed themselves to kick ass, well South kicked ass, North and York generally made people trip over themselves in circles for a few minutes then 'captured' the enemy.

South not yet knowing of Church's complete lack of skill with a sniper rifle dived out of the way to avoid Wyoming's fire and shouted "Church snipe Wyoming! I need cover fire!"

Church looked around "You want ME to snipe WYOMING!?"

South narrowly dodged another shot "No I meant the alien monster, OF COURSE YOU NOW HURRY IT UP!"

Church said "Right OK no problem. Now let's see how does this work again? Uh zoom? No aha a little button! Alright everything's nice and big, I can see him and uh oh he can me!" In a quick shot Church's body crumbled to the ground leaving his ghostly form.

He yelled "HEY JACKASS YOU JUST KILLED ME! WHAT THE HELL!?"

York frowned looking Wyoming's way "Hey whatcha do that for?! I thought we agreed no killing!"

Wyoming shouldered the sniper rifle "I didn't fire a shot yet mate."

York asked "Then who?..."

Caboose popped up behind Church "Not my fault Tucker did it."

Tucker who was half way across the canyon trying to keep his ground in a one on one with North shouted back "Shut it Caboose!"

South had somehow ended back to back with Washington who said "Oh great it's you."

South said back "You're not my first choice either pal!" She heard something weird, and said to him "Hey what the hell is that noise?"

Washington listened as well "Music? Oh no."

Grif whooped "YEHAH!"

As he jumped over the hill with Sarge riding shotgun and Simmons manning the turret he yelled "YEAH SUCK IT BLUE!"

Wash and South leaped out of the way just in time as Sarge pointed their gun at them "Prepare to get Sarge'd!"

Theta ran up to them "Uh Sarge sir? We got the flag."

Sarge looked at him "What?"

Theta held it up "See!"

It was the Blues flag, Delta stepped beside him with Donut who said "It wasn't easy and boy did we have to tug on this sucker hard to jerk it off."

Simmons groaned "Why? Why do you have to say things like that! We can see you have it so why couldn't we have left it at that?"

South snarled "Well you haven't won yet!"

Wash sighed "Yeah they have."

South then noticed that York, Gary, Lopez and North had Tucker, Sister, Iota, Caboose and Church hostage, whilst Wyoming had his sights on them should they try to escape.

Sarge cheered "Yes Red team won! Taste defeat you loser Blues! Gloooorryy glooory Red team!"

South through her gun down "ARG! I can't believe this!"

Washington couldn't resist jabbing "What's the matter South? Can't handle being second best?"

South turned around and punched him "You are such a dick!"

Donut piped up "Yeah you tell him sister!"

Sister said "Tell him what? I didn't say anything."

Church said "Oh goddamit he didn't mean you!"

Caboose shouted "I will not you all oppress me!"

Church looked at him "What the hell are you on about?"

Caboose asked "Aren't we reenacting ladies rights fights? I liked those they had cookies."

Church shook his head "No we're not Caboose just count sheep in your head or something OK?"

Caboose chirped happily "OK." After a second he said "What comes after one?"

Wash held his jaw snapping back at South "And you're a total bitch!"

Delta said to York "Isn't this a situation where emotions running high between a male and female party can lead to reproduction?"

Wash and South both reeled back like they'd been electrocuted.

York answered "Ah now's not the time Dee, I'll explain later."

Church snorted "If that was all it took to shut them up I would have said that ages ago."

Theta tugged on North's hand "What's reproduction?"

North said carefully "Something you can learn about when your older."

Grif added "And something apparently Tucker didn't learn about."

Tucker waved his hands "I told you guys it wasn't me!"

Simmons said "Sure so the alien baby got into your stomach all by itself did it?"

Tucker denied "I was home that night Caboose can vouch for me!"

Caboose said "I did not see anything, or hear anything or be there in way shape or form that would mean I know anything."

Tucker sighed "Wow when the stork dropped you it must have been out of the freaking atmosphere."

Theta tugged again on North's hand "North is that where babies come from?"

North said "How about we find out where Doc and O'malley disappeared too huh?"

York elbowed Wash lightly "Hey man you awake in there?"

Washington made a strangled choking noise that York took as a sign of life "OK then you're good."

O'malley cackled down at them from his place on the hilltop "You fools left your guard down! Prepare to be hammered!"

Sister whooped "Yeah bring it on! I haven't gotten wasted since I got stuck we these losers."

Grif said "I don't think he means that kind of hammered and besides what have you got to whine about? Sarge told us you had raves every night after we all left."

Sarge gasped "Grif! Don't give away intel to the enemy or I'll have to silence you! Actually keep talking then you give me the excuse to shoot you for becoming a traitor."

Grif responded "Uhuh so how come Simmons is still here?"

Simmons said "What?"

Grif carried on "Well you did join the Blues that one time so technically if anyone on our sides the traitor it's you, oh and Lopez because he ran away faster than that door to door salesman we had."

Donut sighed "Yeah. I don't understand why, I mean we were getting along great then I offer to polish his knob and he runs for it. How strange was that?"

Grif and Simmons stared at him, Grif muttered "If you don't know what you did wrong I can't be bothered to explain it to you. Maybe your right Sister I could use that drink after all preferably a shot of something strong."

O'malley shook a fist "Oh your going to get a shot alright! Let's see how much you enjoy it when you're wasting away being fed on by starving birds! Mwuahaha! Lopez activate the weapon!"

Lopez said _"Fine." _

Doc murmured "Oh dear."

As the gravity hammer in O'malley's grasp shuddered into life, "Yes it works!" Then promptly exploded into a healing shield.

O'malley paused and said "Noooooo! What is this?"

Lopez replied _"You said you wanted a back up built into the hammer that would prevent you from dying. In this shield it is almost impossible to die." _

O'malley stamped a foot "Curses! This is not what I wanted!"

Doc said "Oh now that does perk you up all my aches and pains are gone, nice job Lopez."

Church said "Right so you guys won whoopeedoo can we have our flag back now?"

The Reds shared a look then Sarge said "It depends how much you want your flag back."

Tucker groaned "Aw man this is bullshit well I'm not doing it. Veto."

Church quickly joined in "Uh yeah veto. Quick Caboose veto."

Caboose replied "My toe."

Church said "Good enough, hey Sister and South veto!"

South answered warily "Veto?"

Sister said "Veto? That sounds awesome! What is it?"

Church carried on "Well that just leaves you Wash you know the drill."

Washington snapped out of his daze "Huh? No veto!"

The Reds and Blues all replied "Too late."

North asked York "Do you have any idea what's going on here?"

York sounded quite cheery when he replied "Yeah I do. Just watch you're going to love this."

Wash started "I just want everyone to know that I suck."

York prompted "And?" He just knew that Wash was glaring at him for that "And that I'm a girl."

Grif said "What else?"

Wash slumped slightly "And I like ribbons in my hair and I want to kiss all the boys."

York was having trouble holding in his laughter "Now was that so hard?"

Whilst South had no such restraints and laughed at him "Whilst that is the stupidest surrender sequence ever it sounded good coming from you Wash."

North disguised his small chuckle in a cough that didn't fool Wash for a second. Junior came running over to them giving Tucker a quick affectionate nibble then started jumping up at Wash "Honk honk!"

Washington back up "Hey what are you doing? Shoo!"

Doc said "Perhaps it's his feeding time and the little guys hungry."

South crossed her arms "What's the matter Wash? Can't handle it."

Wash said back "You mean extreme blood loss since I only fed him yesterday I doubt anyone can handle that South." He tried side stepping out of Juniors path "It's not my turn again yet, go to your mother if you're hungry. Go on."

Tucker said "I don't think he wants me right now. I think he's gotten quite attached to you."

Wash dodged another jump "More like to my arm."

North nudged Theta forward "Hey why don't you go see if he wants to play with you for a while?"

Theta shied away behind North's leg "Really? What if he doesn't want to?"

North crouched down "I'm sure he will, you like Junior don't you?"

Theta nodded his head and walked forward in small steps "Hey Junior you wanna go play?"

Junior stopped harassing Wash offering happy "Blarg blarg!" and tapped Theta in the universal motion of tag and the two set off into their game.

York said "You wanna go keep an eye on them Dee?"

Delta answered "I can see them just fine from here."

York looked at him "Dee."

Delta realized his mistake "Oh you mean follow them to make sure they don't get into trouble yes I can and would like to do that."

Iota said "Can I come along with you?"

Delta nodded "If you would like."

South impatient as always said "OK great battles over, we lost, we have the flag back now what do we do?"

Wyoming shouted down "Yes if it's not too much trouble I would like to know how much longer I have to wait up here."

York called back "It's over now you're free to do whatever."

Wyoming packed up his sniper rifle saying "Right then cheerio til later then chaps."

Then headed into base with Gary, which everyone probably should have worried about at least a little bit, but couldn't really bring themselves to care.

South said "Yeah great, now seriously what are we doing next?"

Tucker said "We're doing it."

South asked peevishly "And what is that? Wasting time?"

Church said "Nope. Standing around and talking. I know you guys like ruin everything you touch but don't fuck this up OK?"

* * *

It was about two months later when Carolina finely found Valhalla it had taken a while but all the sources she'd tracked down said this is where she would find clues that would help lead her to the Director.

Soon she would make the Director pay for what he had done to them, to her, York, Wash, the twins, the Alpha and the many others lost in a pursuit of a shadow. Not much longer and he would know she was coming for him and a part of her hoped he was afraid nut so he should be he made her like this forged her into this weapon he wanted her to be.

Isn't that the shit thing about weapons though?

They can backfire on you.

Seeing no signs of hostility Carolina made her way carefully into Valhalla her scanners detected no signs of activity outside of the bases yet inside Red base was a mass of it.

She hoped her next sources of information didn't get themselves killed before she had a chance to learn everything they knew, she sped up running into the base and hiding in an alcove she must have been in the heart of the base but their was still no sign of anyone.

Could they all be camouflaged?

No she doubted simulation soldiers having access to such equipment and she would see the shimmer after training to defeat Texas there was no way she would miss it.

So deeper in the base then?

Her scanners were showing she was right in the mass of activity, so where were they?

She stepped out staying alert and moving carefully in case the base was rigged with traps, some noise echoed from her right which she followed to an elevator looking shaft. The elevator was gone so at the bottom of whatever it was and whoever was down there if she called the lift back up she's be noticed but getting down without it would be no problem.

She unhooked her pistols ready for combat in case their was an ambush waiting for her below, she couched down and flipped over running down the wall to the bottom where she flipped over attack into a position to attack.

"Alright people- what is this!?"

Out of all the things Carolina braced herself to run into in the underground room it certainly wasn't what she was faced with, instead of a few Red soldiers locked in battle with a few Blue ones, they were at what looked to be a sunny beach side bar sitting around table playing poker out of armor whilst a few other troops hung back watching near a kid that was making sandcastles with a small alien looking thing.

More than one or two faces that should be dead sat around the table looking surprised and in one of their cases guilty as they stared back at her.

One of the soldiers in a light Blue t-shirt through down his cards "How typical is that? I get a straight and a freelancer bursts in! Un-frickin-believable!"

Washington said back "Well maybe you wouldn't loose so much if you had a better poker face."

Church grumbled "Yeah because being up against trained experts is fair."

Caboose said "North do you have any fours?"

North replied gently "This isn't fish Caboose."

Caboose paused "Oh. Gin Rummy."

Carolina pushed her shock away and demanded "What the hell is going on here!?"

York rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly "Uh hey Carolina what a surprise to see you here."

Iota said "Eta are you there?"

Carolina jumped away as an AI materialized by her head, the AI appeared spartan size and tilted it's head at the person that spoke.

Eta said "Yeah... who are you."

Iota blinked and laughed a little "It's me Iota!"

Eta studied the square jaw, freckled nose, pale blue eyes and shaggy light blonde hair.

Eta gasped "Your features have changed!"

Iota nodded to South "I think it's because of her I bet you look different now too, just think about being visual with no armor it's easy."

Eta stood still for a moment then a man with red hair that had long fringe bangs and green eyes reappeared, Eta studied himself in wonder "Woah."

Iota whistled "Woah is right you look like Carolina now."

York couldn't help throw in "I still say Dee is the most creative in spades."

Carolina noticed the blonde man with glasses nod "Thankyou York."

Church scowled "Oh screw you guys I've looked like this forever I'm not changing now."

York feigned innocence "I have no idea what you're talking about."

South smirked "Yeah anybody would think your paranoid, do you often think other people are talking about you?"

Church smirked back "And do you think nobody's noticed you and Wash have your ankles linked under the table?"

They both flushed and pushed their chairs back.

Wash said "I thought it was the table leg!"

York laughed "Right likely story."

North hid a grin in his cards "Something you forget to tell me Sis?"

South flicked a coin at Wash's forehead "Oh please like I'd be interested in him."

Tucker said "Hey save the flirting til after the scary freelancer lady is gone please."

Wash and South both said "We're not flirting!"

Carolina shot the ceiling, sky, whatever and got their attention back "What." She said dangerously "The hell is going on?"

Sarge said "Now listen here missy there's no need to get on your high horse and threaten to kill thing in my base, that's my job! Lopez hand me my shotgun."

Donut piped up "Lopez isn't here Sir remember? He said he was going to run security checks on the kitchen."

Sarge chuckled "Good old Lopez always focused on his job."

Wyoming sipped a drink and said "Actually I think you'll find he said he was going to woo that tank."

Carolina said "If I have to kill one of you to make you answer my questions don't think I'll hesitate because as far as everyone else is concerned half of your are supposed to be dead anyway. So if no one starts talking about what I want to hear I'm going to start shooting, which is it?"

Tucker said "Woah she's almost as bad as Tex."

Carolina nearly shouted as she said "What do you know about Texas! Start talking!"

York stood up holding his hands in a harmless gesture "Carolina calm down please it's kind of a long story, so why don't sit down with us and we can talk."

Carolina scoffed "Sit down with you? Let my guard down so you can stab me in the back again? I don't think so."

That remark stung, all the ex-freelancers that knew of the past between the pair watched carefully to see what would happen next, York dropped his hands "...I'm going to help the kids make sandcastles... do what you want."

York turned his back on her walking over to Theta and Junior, Carolina faltered slightly "..York..."

York waved a hand "It's fine Carolina just do your own thing as you always do, just try not to kill anyone in the process will you?"

With that he crouched down and seemed to completely shut the rest of the room as he played with the kids.

North frowned "Carolina you can see we're all unarmed can't we answer whatever it is you want to know civilly?"

Carolina swept her hand out in arc "Oh? What about the numbers you have in your side?"

Grif rolled his eyes "Like they're helpful six of em aren't solid people outside of this room anyway."

Carolina went to ask what he meant when Delta said "If I may Carolina I can explain to you, you see myself and six other AI, Gary, O'malley, Theta, Iota and Church-"

"I'm not an AI I'm a ghost goddammit!"

"-all exist in robot bodies outside this room but inside this room which is a giant holographic projection room we can simulate ourselves as actual humans and it seems that Eta too can do so."

Carolina said "That doesn't tell me how you are still here when I know Maine captured those AI fragments."

South kicked a chair out "Sit down and shut up and you might actually learn something."

Carolina stood there for a moment considering her options then slowly she approached the table and sat down never once letting go of her weapons, "Alright start talking."

So talk they did.

* * *

Carolina sat back arms folded to prevent herself from grabbing anyone's throat "You can't be expect me to believe that."

North shrugged "Well that's what happened."

Carolina stood up slamming her hands on the table "So what have you been doing since then? Standing around and talking in this canyon in the middle of nowhere!?"

Wash leaned back "Pretty much welcome to Valhalla."

Carolina clutched some poker chips so hard they cracked "I'll give you a welcome you won't forget in a minute!"

Tucker said "Bow chika bow WOAH the scary ladies aiming her gun at me!"

In a motion she didn't expect North, Wyoming, Washington and South had all risen into defensive postures.

South said lowly "Drop the weapon."

Carolina said "So you say we'll talk but then you're all ready to fight me, that's friendly."

Wyoming didn't twitch as he retorted "Well we're not the ones pointing a loaded weapon at our unarmed comrade are we love?"

Carolina lowered the weapon and they slowly dropped out of the fighting stances.

Church said "Holy crap did you guys just stick up for Tucker?"

Simmons blinked slowly "I think they did."

Wyoming sipped his drink "Oh don't act so surprised."

Tucker said "Uh yeah I think we will but just so you know I'm still not leaving you alone with my kid."

Carolina said "Look you know what I don't have time for this now that I've found you we can band together and take down the Director."

Caboose grinned "I can play the triangle."

North said "She didn't mean music Caboose."

Caboose mouth formed an 'O' "Well I never get along with girls, they don't like me, I don't think there are any regular girls anymore."

South said "Have you lost it? You of all people want to kill the Director?"

Carolina answered "Yes. He deserves it for what he did, what he's done to us, what he put us through, he should answer for those crimes."

York spoke for the first time in ages he said aloud "Count me out."

Carolina stared at his back "What?"

York looked at her "I said I'm not going, I've told you before Carolina you need to let things go."

Sarge said "And count us out too, I mean I love a charge against overwhelming odds and beating down enemies but this ain't our fight."

Church nodded "Yeah ditto that."

Carolina looked at Church "You more than anyone in this room should want to make him pay, after all he did to you? All you AI? You'll just turn a blind eye and forget about it."

Church glared "Why shouldn't I? I'm pretty fucking tired of all that bullshit and it's more or less behind me now so why would I want to waste my time finding the guy who started it?"

Carolina stood up straight "I see. Is that how you all feel?"

Washington, South, North and Wyoming looked away, the Reds and Blues watched her warily in case she went nuts and killed them all, the AI watched her carefully.

Carolina offered one last "It was good to see you."

She didn't elaborate any further and went to leave.

Eta offered a wave at his AI siblings planning on going with Carolina except she said "I'd advise you get out of my armor I don't need an AI's help."

Eta faltered "But Carolina..."

Carolina made her suit surge "OUT!"

Eta against his will was flung out and he drifted until he landed in a helmet in Red base.

Without anything further Carolina left.

* * *

Hours later she was tracking Maine's trail to a ruined facility trying to work out what he was after, it was quiet until a muffled "OW!" caught her attention, Carolina armed herself and shot forward.

In a flash she had the person on their back at gun point, she recognized the armor in an instant "York?"

He said "Hey Carolina."

Carolina let him up "What happened to letting things go?"

York got back up "I still think you should let this go but I'm not going to let go alone."

Carolina didn't know what to say "York..."

"And I'm not letting you go alone either."

Carolina looked at the yellow armored spartan "Eta?"

The spartan nodded "The Red Sargent made me a robot body."

Carolina frowned "In a few hours?"

Sarge said "Yep beat my own record I can make these things off by heart now hehe."

Carolina looked to see the assembled group of all the Red and Blue soldiers as well as the AI and ex freelancers.

Gary said "Knock knock."

York said "Yeah so a few friends might have tagged along."

Church raised a hand "Just to be clear I'm only here because I got dragged along not because I want to be."

Tucker said "Yeah and besides I have my sword if anything tries to kill me."

Donut added in "Which he can use like a pro."

Simmons whined "There! Right there! You see what you do? Stop doing that!"

South leaned on North's shoulder "Two are better than one right bro?"

North shouldered his sniper rifle "That's right."

Theta peeked over North's shoulder from his spot on his back "Hello."

Washington said "As long as North doesn't have to do your half as well."

South through back "Bite me Washingtub."

Sister said "We going to exchange hickey's in a bubble bath? Awesome I'm get my flippers!"

Wyoming said "Yes exactly-wait what!?"

Doc piped up "If anyone gets hurt don't worry I'm much better at medicine now."

O'malley laughed "Which means he's moved on to rubbing Nivea cream on wounds to stop infection, now can we stop dawdling and move on to shooting things? Mwuahahaha!"

Grif groaned "Just please tell me I don't have to do anything on this trip."

Sarge smacked him "Show some willing dirtbag!"

Church automatically hit Grif as well "OW!"

"I'm starting to like that feature again."

Delta said "If you would like help forming a strategy Carolina I would be happy to assist you."

York offered a hand towards her "So what do you say Carolina?"

Carolina accepted his hand, "Let's lock and load people."

~Fin~


End file.
